okay. so i dreamt that emma somehow became prime minister of england at the tender age of 22. we're all happy for her, if a bit stunned etc etc etc. theeeeen, the next thing i know, i'm watching the world news and - 'THE PRIME MINISTER OF ENGLAND DRAGGED AWAY!' - there's footage of emma, dressed in a crazy opulent gold sari (it was a state dinner) getting dragged off the streets by militia... and there are all these slo-mos of all the OUTRAGED FACES emma's making, like they're truly exaggerated and well... hilarious. IF only it weren't so painful watching your best friend get dragged through the mud.
SO WHAT DO I DO? i catch a plane to england, with some half-baked scheme of busting my buddy out. strangely, emma is being held at this weird half castle-half clubhouse place and dignitaries from all over the world have gathered to mull the predicament/crimes of young emma. so i go there... all sneakylike... and somehow i bump into this girl i know (i know her in real life) and she turns out to the daughter of a dignitary. but she knows the ropes and somehow (these somehow parts are fuzzy) she gets convinced to join the team. something happens... we find some stuff out... then she's like oh i have to hack into my laptop which they destroyed, it's in this little room off the main wing... and we get there and she's hacking into her laptop when some guy busts in and he's like well, well, well, what have we here. in my dream, this guy is like someone we went to college with (although we never did) and his personality is slimy, suck-uppy... probably had a crush on emma that was never requited and got his heart stomped on... fairly run-of-the-mill. and he tries to attack my partner while she's doing her techie stuff. but i fend him off (because i am amazing) and i turn to HIS partner, who also went to college with us (but never really did) and i'm like "you KNOW emma. THINK. something's going on here. did you ever wonder how she got to be prime minister in the first place? SHE'S NOT EVEN A CITIZEN!" (i swear, those very words came out of my dream-self's mouth). so what with my indefatgable logic, the girl comes to, and it's one of those cinematic moments were you can actually see via the expression on her face, that she's switched allegiances hahaha.
so then the other guy is all infuriated and tries to attack me. well actually he does manage to get one knock in, like a backhanded swipe with his fist and he's all like THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT. so i kick him in the gonads and he collapses and moans "oh i'm just a guy" except he was FAKING (i didn't really get him) so i give him one of his own backhanded swipes with a resounding THWACK and before he falls again there's this comic look of wonder on his face - i can't believe she just used my own move to fell me! - and this time i step on his balls just to make sure he stays down and i'm all like THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT.
meanwhile my partner has ferreted out whatever info she needs and to nobody's surprise she's like it's a big set-up, but ALL the dignitaries are involved, it's some kind of global power/economic conspiracy yadda yadda yadda then we're like okay we have to get PROOF. so we mooch off again and my partner at some point is like "stay here". she leaves with a dictaphone to COLLECT EVIDENCE.
she returns and we need to disseminate the evidence, and so we decide the most expedient way is to crash the dignitary-party and expose them all with all the newscameras and tv crews as witness. for some reason we decide my partner isn't fit for crashing because she's all entangled with her father and he'd kill her if ever he found out she was helping us so I have to go (you can see how i'm NOT the brains of this operation, just a grunt). but before i crash any ball, i gots to dress up yo. i remember i conveniently left my makeup case (eh?) in the room where i took out el creepo from college so we try to go back but we can't really find the room (which is meant to have a blue door). we go into a room with a blue door but instead of my makeup and my partner's extra ball gown she just so happened to have, we find... A BLUE COLOURED MUPPET WHOOPI GOLDBERG TEACHING A CLASS OF MUPPET PRE-SCHOOLERS.
we are befuddled, not by the sudden materialisation of muppets though, but by our inability to find the damned room!
and then i wake up.
ps: don't worry emma, i'm sure we save you in the end.
i miss our lovely toilets at home. i miss the canal. i miss trudging on smushed flowers. (i don't really miss waiting for 151.) i miss my blue walls. i miss my wardrobe. i miss my fridge. my OVEN! most importantly i miss everyone so so much
can't wait til i'm home!
it's funny how i want my life to be a wonderful, endless accrual... losing nothing, keeping everything. yet i want to hold every moment in its shining, pristine wholeness, letting nothing taint but now. it's funny how it doesn't work any way - it's not like i have both, but it's not like i have either. i'm just somewhere in the middle, longing.
i dreamt that i had BABIES and they were in the back of my car, just rolling around, literally, with no car seat. in some metanarrative mode i think to myself OMG I'M SUCH A NEGLIGENT MOTHER, but this has no bearing on my dreamself. i'm driving down a ramp... it's starting to rain... the wipers inefficiently swipe at my flooding windshield... there's a traffic jam. i get out of the car with my two babies in my arms and start walking. they're getting wet and i'm panicking because THEY'RE GETTING WET AND DIRTY AND THIS RAIN IS BAD FOR THEM OH MY BABIES and in the course of my manic speed-walking to some form of shelter i realise my babies are actually little baby manatees. like teeny tiny will-fit-into-my-arms manatees. anyway, the rain is bad for my poor manatees so i find a public toilet (level of griminess midway between singapore and malaysia) and the toilet attendant ushers me inside graciously. there's a trough-like tub or a tub-like trough and i start the water and put my baby-tees inside. they're happy and swimming and splashing but i'm just kinda like yeah yeah... my thoughts wander and the next thing i know my two manatees have some how split into FIVE manatees of varying sizes - like russian dolls. i'm overcome with... something akin to horror, i guess. or dread. just like WHAT. AM I GOING TO DO WITH ALL THESE BABIES?
dream analysis: one of the books on my syllabus is a book of poetry called manatee/humanity by anne waldman and it's about environmentalism and man's relationship with nature/animal, particularly the manatee... anyway you can see where this is going. i guess when your poetry has infiltrated my subconscious... that's the mark of success.
another random dream: i dreamt that i was watching glee and like it was major finn - rachel drama. rachel was all like i'm sick of waiting for you finn this is goodbye FOREVER and stormed off (like she always does in the show) but finn ran after her and they started like making out and i was like NO THIS IS TOO SOON! WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO THE REST OF THE SEASON?!?!?!?!!? yeah glee has also penetrated the subconscious. seriously that show is so appropriately named, it's one hour of PURE UNADULTERATED GLEE every week. i sit in my suitemates' room in front of the tv with my knitting and squeal practically without interruption for an hour (excepting commercial breaks). i love kurt, he is so fabulous, i love when his father told him he'd known that kurt was gay since his 3rd birthday when he asked for a pair of "sensible high heels" OMG. and i also love sue silvester - HOW does she keep a straight face? how does anyone keep a straight face when she's doing her lines? i really don't know.
went to the rocky horror picture show - let's do the time warp again. went to the grove for halloween but it was all a scam. in america costumes don't have to make sense, just be naked and free (apparently).
hit mcd's for a cinnamon melt and a towering vanilla cone (everything is bigger in the USA) roommate took a shower and i photoboothed, all we need is some photographic evidence...
i might return my heart-shaped glasses to the store.
ps: oh if you're confused about the costume - they sold out of mickey mouse ears so i got heart shaped glasses and went as a literary character, ahem.
should go to bed... but i don't know what i'll dream tonight. past couple of nights i've been woken up at 4 in the morning by really weird dreams.
the night before last i dreamt i was in this situation were i had to suck the poison out of a snake as recompense for some act of mine that... i don't know, somehow empowered the snake to put me (us? there was an us but i don't remember who that us was...) in danger. as i drew the poison out of the snake it deflated... like a balloon in reverse.
my roommate told me that if you have many dreams in one night - if you remember the first dream you have, that dream comes true. the last dream you have before waking up is what you're worried about. after my snake dream i dreamt about cereal. so i guess i'm worried about cereal. i dreamt i banned myself from eating cereal, so i don't know if it means i'm worried about eating too much cereal or if i'm worried about there not being enough cereal to eat...
as for the snake dream... looked up snakes in dreams online and it could either be a) an underlying threat or danger b) fear of commitment or intimacy c) horniness (is that a word? - i checked. it is.) taking into account the context of my dream - the whole having to negate the explicit threat of the snake, i'm probably going to go with (a). also not inclined to buy into either (b) or (c) seeing as they cancel each other out. and my fortune cookie today told me, rather ominously, 'the eye believes what it sees, the ear hears what others say'. which i read as something along the lines of - firsthand info over secondhand; trust yourself, not others. SO SOMETHING IN THE UNIVERSE IS TELLING ME NOT TO TRUST SOMEONE, which is pretty frakking scary.
only if i believe in that kind of stuff, of course.
i feel like... mashing old-school mouseketeerism with 90s grunge and some britney oops i did it again schoolgirl... it's not going to be as crazy as it sounds, i promise.
